Boogers
by CherryBerryB
Summary: When agents in the FBI resort to immature word games, somethings gonna go wrong! *warning for a plate of inappropriate language with a side of obnoxious*


**Again, beware of the slightly inappropriate content of this fic (though not as bad as M rated romance Teletubbies fics. They. Will. Scar. You.). This is inspired by the one-shot Two Line Vocabulary by AiyanaStone as well as my sister aliy112233 and our mutual friend Kim (not on fanfiction). We were playing the game Boogers (this is an actual game. We did not make this up) which was the chief inspiration of this fic. We got bored, so we, uh, made it more interesting :) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, and I have nothing to complain about anymore :D Finally, order has been restored on the greatest show in the world.**

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><p>"Strauss sucks testicles at night."<p>

"You smiled!"

"I did not!"

"Did so!"

"What's going on?" JJ asked, coming nearer to Morgan, Reid and Garcia. She'd caught their conversation from across the bullpen.

Prentiss didn't even look up from her paper work, though she did look slightly amused. "They're playing a variation on _Boogers_, or so they tell me."

"I was coerced!" Reid protested.

JJ put her hands on her hips playfully. "Oh, really? How?"

He shuddered. "You don't even want to know."

"Oh, hush. It wasn't that bad." Garcia waved him off dismissively as Reid's jaw dropped.

"Garcia! You-"

"Anyways, to play, one person has to ask a question like 'What's your favourite colour?' and the person asked has to look into their eyes and answer 'My favourite colour is boogers' but we're saying testicles instead. And you can't smile or laugh or you have to ask the questions. Wanna play?" Garcia grinned mischievously.

JJ glanced at Prentiss. "Only if Emily does too."

The person in question lifted her head and smiled. "Fine, but just to get away from work." Prentiss scooted her chair forward over to Reid's desk.

"Ok," the computer tech started. "Morgan smiled, so he's going to start asking the questions first."

Morgan just shook his head and looked at JJ. "What was our latest case on?"

JJ held her breath for a few seconds. She never expected this to be so ridiculous. "Our latest case was on testicles." She snickered.

"Prentiss, then. What did you eat for supper?"

"I ate testicles for supper."

Morgan sighed, but he expected this. Emotional restraint was necessary in this job. Then he got it, the one thing and the one person who could get him out of this position. "Reid, what is the sexiest thing about Rossi?"

The genius paled and averted his eyes, mumbling the answer.

The girls were giggling and holding back guffaws while Morgan's smile only got bigger. "What was that, pretty boy? Say it again?"

"Come on, Morgan, half the Bureau already thinks I'm gay. Can't you think up something else?" Reid murmured, shifting his gaze around the room.

"Sorry, Sweet Cheeks, that's the name of the game." Garcia squeaked out. This was just too good.

Reid steadied himself, while behind him Rossi walked in with his coffee. Hearing the giggling and seeing Reid hunch his shoulders in embarrassment made him curious. He came up to the desks just in time to hear Reid say:

"The sexiest thing about Rossi is his testicles."

To say he was surprised was an understatement. He wasn't even sure what to make of it. "May I ask how you got on to this conversation? Or do I even want to know?"

Hearing the senior profiler, Reid stiffened and put his head in his hands while the whole group burst into roaring laughter with the exception of Rossi.

After a good minute of laughing, gasping, confusion and shame, the four of them calmed down to relieve the other two of their subsequent emotions.

"It's a game, Rossi. Pretty much _Jeopardy _backwards, but you have to put the word testicles in the answer." Morgan said, still smirking. "The person who cracks has to start asking the questions."

Before Rossi could give voice to his disbelief of their childish ways, or leave, Prentiss broke in. "Think of it as an exercise in controlling emotion, just from a different side."

Mildly interested, Rossi took a seat on the desk. "So this means that Reid isn't gay?"

Reid had already recovered from his discomfiture, so he just glared at Morgan. "Didn't I tell you?"

For the second time that day, Reid was waved off. "So, you gonna play, then?" Morgan asked.

With a small smile, the older agent shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. "Who's it?"

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><p>Hotch briefly looked out his window into the bullpen, than took a double take. His team was crowded around Reid's desk laughing. Not that it wasn't nice, just a little strange.<p>

When he walked out of his office to hear them, he witnessed the strangest thing, something he would never think to come out of Morgan's mouth:

"Hotch's gun shoots testicles."

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><p><strong>So what did you think? If you thought it was crappy, I'd agree (at least the beginning, which was choppy at best). I just couldn't get it to flow right, and I congratulate you on finishing. No offence was intended, and you had been warned. <strong>

**I definitely didn't think this up by myself, and I would like to thank aliy112233 and Kim for their scarily enthusiastic encouragement. Couldn't and wouldn't have done it without you guys!**

**By the way, you should go read Two Line Vocabulary now. Be ready to piss yourself laughing.**


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